Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Is Oprah even human
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
