Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We were destined to go to rehab together
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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