Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
After tacos, we're chasing women.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
