How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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