It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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