Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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