he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
