OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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