i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
