I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just tell him i said nine months
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
