i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
