the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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