I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
