Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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