so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
