butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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