you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize