so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We had to coat check the pizza.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
