His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
