dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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