Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
