so that wasnt chicken after all
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
