Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
