i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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