Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
