Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
