Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
