Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
