Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Is it penis luge time yet?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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