Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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