I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize