Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
