At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
How's work?
Spinning.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
