Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We got so high we made milksteak
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
