apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
