forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
