I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
