saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
