dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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