3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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