haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
