and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
