so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
