she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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