i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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