Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
