omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
