my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Non-Jews are for practice
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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