Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
