Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
