He is an equal opportunity slut.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
