so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We got so high we made milksteak
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
