At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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