we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
