If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
