week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
