I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
