3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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