he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
