The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
