i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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