I can tuck mytits in my pants
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'm always down for nudity.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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