it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
